Four walls and the FFFlllloooorrrr beneath me

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In general, I like my room.  I have it organized the way I like.  For the most part, it suits my needs.  It does have a few oddities.

For one thing, the floor is very unlevel.  It slopes to the west, toward the room next to me, and it slopes to the north, toward the hallway outside my door.  If I lie with my head on the downward slope it gives me a little bit of a headache.  I can't place a pencil or sewing needle on my portable table because it will roll off.   My one-legged yoga postures like Palm Tree and Eagle are quite challenging.

The other unusual thing about the flooring in my room is that it has SOFT SPOTS.   There are some areas where it feels like my foot might go through the floor if the carpet weren't there!  I guess part of the wood could have rotted in these areas.  

 What is a bit bizarre is that the soft areas seem to move around over time!  What was a soft area one week will become a rock hard surface area the next. 

On a couple of occasions when lying in bed,  it actually felt like somebody or something was pressing up into the mattress I was sleeping on.  I actually wondered if there was a crawl space in the area beneath my room and somebody was playing a joke on me.

There are times when I feel like there are MAGNETS underneath the floor in my room--mostly at night.  Some nights it is stronger than others.  The effect is felt in my legs when I am walking.  I have begun to believe that "the magnet" is upsetting my sleep cycle. One day I began placing a particle board underneath my bed at night--to "block" the energy field.    I slept much better. 

 I was occasionally waking up with an upset stomach, or a sore leg or shoulder.  When I began placing the heavy shelf below my sleeping area, I noticed that I was no longer waking up with odd discomforts. 

 A couple of years ago I fell when getting out of the shower in this house.  When I look back on that episode, I remember feeling a little dizzy.   On rare occasions, I feel the "magnet" in the bathroom and kitchen areas.

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WAXING PHILOSOPHICAL

We live in a technologically advanced world.  It is a world our grandparents can't even imagine.  It is a world in which the things we once thought were science fiction fantasies now exist.

 I sometimes wonder how I can exist in a world where I have such little control over my life.  I make this personal, because we don't all live the same lives.  I can't assume you are as miserable as I am.  Maybe your life is perfect, hunky-dory.   

 I can't say that I'm unhappy all the time.  I know that I'm not as happy as I used to be.    I also know I am and have experienced some rather unusual things.  I know my life is different from most people.

Yes, I suppose many or most of us are experiencing a powerlessness.  The weaker will always be enslaved by the more powerful.  The more powerful includes the ambitious, the smarter, the richer, the  stronger (physically), the more educated, the charmed.  I have read that the most powerful companies (and individuals) own the most scientists and the most lawyers.  I am thinking of Donald Trump, the Koch Brothers, the military industrial complex.

 Sometime in the mid 20th Century, laws were passed in America so that corporations received the same rights as an "individual."  Suddenly companies could sue and be sued, as if they were a person.  Companies could declare for tax purposes deductions and exemptions-- like an individual.  The companies grew and prospered.  The American economy grew and prospered.  Every family owned a stove, refrigerator, car, television set.  

But the corporation is an entity, not an individual.  It doesn't necessarily feel sympathy or guilty for the harm it does to other people.  Driven by profit, it minimizes wages and benefits for its employees, and is driven to minimize the cost of production.    Like a machine, it doesn't feel guilty about polluting the earth's precious air and water, or causing cancer or obesity that leads to diabetes and cardiovascular disease.  

It's  hard to hold a company accountable for the damage and harm it does to others, because it's not a single person.  It's several people on a board, plus a hierarchy of managers.  And it has very well paid lawyers.  America has become a land of corporations and industry with masses of individual victims that feel powerlessness to defend themselves against them.

Other humans control my life.  So much goes on behind closed doors, in boardrooms, at private meetings.  Decisions are made that affect the quality of my life.  

 Besides technology, and the corporations, I sense there are other forces out there.  Sometimes they seem quite dark.  Sometimes they feel less dark.  I don't know what they are, why they are operating, what we can do about them.  I feel like I have lost a certain part of myself.  I have been stripped of the ability to plan for the future, make decisions, have self-will.

  I feel like a prisoner.  I fear the whole race has been imprisoned.  There are so many things unseen.  I have to figure out a reason to live, and way to be happy in this modern age.

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humidity

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